I so wished to be a black hole until.....

The rays of the sun could not penetrate the black hole and giving nothing in return to the observer and then it happened to me, the gravitational collapse(Gravitational collapse occurs when an object's internal pressure is insufficient to resist the object's own gravity.*) occurred. The fuel inside me was not enough to keep up the inflicting temperature in me. What is it? it is like you wished and all you wished was to be an ideal, in the inkling eye to be a sparkle, struck by lighting and revived only abysmally. Only to understand that the ideal has changed. It is dynamic, till yesterday conquering this stage was being ideal. Now when today I stand on the conquered peak(the ideal), the ideal has changed, but it would have been alright, if it would have been only higher and far-off. It was something that I had not thought about. A new road is shown where I haven't started but the ideal lies there and not here(the one I conquered).

Occult as it may seem, true as it is. Amidst I feel between the world I left and the world I will be struggling. Cause the world I left, I passed as a trespasser and the one ahead it not known. I would have done it with great zeal only if I had known this was the last one, I would not have trespassed it, but lived it to the core, but the ideal kept on changing. Anachronisms is what I feel for myself, only stumped to the beauty of the changing ideal. The seance happened, all I was longing for. Enlightened me, I understood that striving for perfection may not peace my soul, as the perfection is moral force, but striving for excellence would make me grow and peace came to my soul.


How could I just let this pass me? I had seen it only, not to realize the existence of it in my life. I had been given an opportunity to relish the world, all I did was to trespass. Only to achieve perfection, orthogonal it all seemed to me. The success can also be achieved by enjoying the path on which I walked, reaching at the top is surely success, cause you don't turn back to see where did you come from? only the next unconquered terrain. I grumbled about the mis happenings that happened, the incredulity I faced, the faith that I possessed was shattered into zillion broken pieces. I asked for help I was lurched, A guide to me happened, and I asked to know only the truth. How many times do you trust a person? grinning smile is all that guide could give me to let me know the answer "again". I asked number of times, the sagacious guide could only tell me "again". I understood and lead the way with a open mind. Only to understand that past does not only give you memories but also led astray feelings cling to your soul. I was offered to establish the company and I understood the meaning "again" cause there was a part of soul in me, which never allowed the heresy to take over and religion I followed was "not trusting".

The word "again" meant detachment, which till then was only a word but the sense seem to follow. It is the difference between me and myself, me is by the ego and myself is the actual. I heard the small talk suddenly whispering to me, the one I had ignored. The one, which when heard after time unknown made me scared. It is was the small talk I had forgotten about. The inner voice, I was jolted but senses turned back. I had a chit chat not for long and not aloud but within me. I found my lost company I had been longing, the thorns on the path only seemed thorns, but the beauty surrounding the thorns looked mesmerizing. Detached I felt within and attached I grew outside. The gravitational collapse was not a feeling anymore, the black hole was not I was looking for. The black hole emits more than it has, that is what makes the gravitational collapse. Not early though I would say that I came to know, but what I know that there is still a lot more inside me before I fall prey to the ad infinitum depth. I shall survive. The world would not change in a day, nor Rome was built in a day, but now  I know I exist and there is change probably not in the world, but the way I look at it.

* Gravitational collapse (courtesy www.wikipedia.org)

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Success seemed to be on going and lonely, the path made me feel.