Thursday, December 23, 2010

Demigod is....

Is it being supernal or being infernal of your own made up world? Well the dictionary says that demigod means a person who is part mortal and part god. How does it make a lot of difference between being me and me being a demigod? It is said that god lies in our hearts and obviously I am mortal. Am I a demigod? If I am than so is every other human being right. Well according to Greek mythology it is Hercules with an exception who was accepted to be a demigod, though born to only mortals. What made him one?

Is it the veneration to be one, well this is antiquity; but I am alive now, here in this world; who calls all this; a part of the ancient world. What spatial makes all the difference between me and him? Let’s try to understand in today’s world two contrast situations part a) wherein I think that I make things happen, I work so I run the house. I own this, so I see how it should be working. I do that and the list is ad infinitum. Part b) wherein now that I know the universe is so huge, the earth is so big, the stars are so far away I am just little thing on this planet called earth. I cannot change anything. What alone can I do about things? Global warming, society norms, pollution levels or is it me who makes things move? All the questions actually can bring you to a liminal stage, think yourself in a situation where the past does not exists is just a vacuum and future is a myth as it is you between a transition; between nothing and nothing it is got to be a trance.

Threshold is upon you. Can you really take the responsibility of this whole wide world on your weak shoulders? Or it is just that you think that you do, in reality there is nothing you can change about anything. Is being a demigod a pattern of dynasty or it that can be achieved? Who actually provides the patronage to my living? I am still not sure am I a demigod? Or it is the people who have made all the difference before in archaic times or it is we who make it all now. If it can be attained with veneration what I am I missing to be one? That does not mean I start walking on the path to hunt down the destiny or is it my destiny to be and to act like one. Honestly it is all upon and wholly upto you. What actually we need is to engrave within ourselves is the wisdom; to understand to what we can and what is upto him.

The sense of responsibility of me being here right now and playing the role of me being an actor in the world which is the audience; I am here to perform my bit of part to the whole play; and detachment from the role that could remind me it is all part of the play. Nothing that is here is go na hurt me if I could just remember it is a play. To put it more simply a demigod is only a part of him but not him. The flash of genius would be to strike the right chord; which is between knowing what is being a part of him and what is being him. Yes I make things move but I certainly don’t create it. Let not the actor you play a trickster with you.

Yes we have a chance to be preeminent. It is just that the antagonist within us have made us feel or forget that what we truly are. Let the chthonic within me rise to be chaste nay take over the impious me. We can change a lot; because Demigod is me

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

How close am I to ME?

Who am I? What am me? Have we thought about it? Does it really matter? Aren’t these too many questions to think about? Just to recall your distinctively vivid memory which I am sure you have to the best of your knowledge. Remember saying “I am happy being me myself” or “I love to be me” or “it was not me it just happened....” or “are you talking to me?” or the list goes on and on..... I am sure you can remember at least one instance right? Alright even nay ‘cause I have never made such statement’ I am sure you know somebody who has ever made it? What is the essence? That there is something as ‘me’ and there is something as ‘i’ so? Read on I am sure something would catch your eyes.

So now we know that I and me are different right? Let’s move a bit forward let I be the ‘ego’ and me be the ‘real me’ I may be the one you project to the world whereas me being knowing yourself(the darkest side of you, obviously the brightest as well) I be what you think and me be what you feel. What was the last time; under no guidance of nescience you could differentiate between what you think and what you feel? “I think this is a bad deal but me feel; it is worth the try” or the fratricide has been committed without the personage allowed to speak. The world may or shall look at you as the way you want to show. I do its best to show “I am......” there is not an end, me is I wana feel paradise.

The caprice can be mercantile or quaint. We are so focused onto; with improving or accepting or dejecting the relations with the whole wide world (www) that at times or most; we forget there is still a sound within me that is ‘me’. I don’t want to get hurt, but we do. I don’t want to be rejected, we do. I don’t want to spoil this, we do. Defeat it inevitable, but battles lost also purports winning wars only if we continue to learn, improve and not come under the influence of ‘lost hopes’. I am bound by the ego, to deny the acceptance; me wants, because I thinks, it is not right. How do I overcome this tug of war? Me is not weak accept it, if the me is hurt, me has lost trust let me take control and avoid the circumstances I think would not happen again. Pitch black darkness shall dissociate you from your shadow, me shall not.

How much time do you take out to have a word with ‘me’ difficult to remember? It does not imply that you become biased and start listening to me, it is just that have ample opportunity to understand the difference, to choose to have a choice. Anything too close cannot be seen, anything to far cannot be understood, strike the balance. I shall do everything to please the people in the world; it would not be that difficult to please the one inside. Don’t get into the rat race of moving on in life, for example if the dustbin is not cleared everyday it starts to pile up, next starts to stink, next looks ugly than it was, next you just can’t bear it anymore. Similarly detach yourself from I, have no pre conceived notions then look at it, the view would be clear, peaceful and enlightening.

I and me make you, not either of them. Don’t be afraid to present your subtle thoughts to someone, before it becomes unconquerable peaks. Let go, if you want it come back to you, but not lose yourself and accept it whenever it comes back to you. Your best friend can be you, if you allow it to be; most trust worthy is you, if you accept to be; best shoulder is yours to cry upon. Don’t expect from the world, if you have doubts with yourself. Life is never fair; shall never be; be fair to you. Best teacher is the crowd, that makes you feel lonely, learn from it. Not lose hope within; there shall be no soul to support who does not want to support him. I and me is you and you are the creator of your own destiny for dynasty.

Monday, December 20, 2010

Snow and I still love it......

Snow and snow around......may it be a reason for pain for many, I am sure we can find some pleasure as a few. We shall see what we want to, not necessarily what is it.

Comments @

Monday, December 13, 2010

Just a few random clicks, hope you like them.

Gracious for your comments @
or on the page itself.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Infernal calling paradise within.....

Ebon is the shade around! Not due the lack of amber; but because of the lost need to be chromatic. A lot is by force, but honestly it is more by choice. The invisible fences have taken over, without me realizing that I am no longer part of supernal but an infernal. The darkness has started pulling me and enlightenment making me feel midget. What have I done?

I am deaf to own self; wish I had the acoustic to hear my own self......but it seems to be late, it seems the little voice is not calling for me anymore, it is the something I miss, I can’t perform the nomenclature for it; but I miss this something, it made me happy, it made me remember people without requests, it still there? I wish to hear it again! Where is it? Still calling for me or succumbed beneath the masks saying ‘this is rational, this is where it is supposed to be, this is better, this if favourable, this is .......’.

Is it better to be lonely or alone in a crowd? I never wanted to be like this, but you know because of this I have become like this, because of this I am sceptical, Because Because Because!!! I don’t wana justify me anymore. The more I look outside for happiness, the more loneliness takes over inside me. I know it is an illusion, but how do I break the illusion to understand that happiness is enlightenment inside. There is nothing new in this, have heard it a zillion number of times, look inside for happiness, happiness is a feeling, love is neither adjustment or compromise, honesty would bring you peace. I agree! Can we also agree to disagree? That is; we both agree that we could, we would disagree. Then can the truth be changed, can the rising of the sun, called to be a mirage just because the clouds don’t allow you to see it.

Nobody talks rocket science, the most important things in life are basic, easy to differentiate like the difference between black and white. When it is that simple, why so difficult to find? We love to live our lives to the best, claiming to be fully satisfied and intended to be comfortable, with a small tag line below all this saying that ‘conditions apply’. The world made me a thorn and you expect me not to cause pain! It is always easy to pass the blame, what is difficult is to confront! That though I am a thorn I don’t want to add to somebody’s pain.

There is something new for the people talk about love these days it is the ‘caustic love’ it is like I don’t wana fall into to it because it may hurt. Firstly love is when people rise, it is when, and it strengthens them for the better today, tomorrow and a delightful yesterday. If it is decided with days, decided by time, decided by circumstances; it is anything but not love. Let the brawl inside you rise so that it bursts, because when the floods have searched their way back to the sea, they leave behind is a fertile land, no matter how destructive the volcano is, it leaves behind land to rebuilt and live.

Don’t let the small little voice be unheard within you, because the more you suppress the more claxon it sounds, until not heard at all. Ephemeral is we, too short span to keep the grudge, the weight is too much, let yourself be detached from the feelings, don’t forget the lesson, but don’t carry the feeling, degaussed to feel the feeling be a taboo. So that when coup de grace takes over me I have a life to see in a few moments left, it better be worth a watch.

Paradise is right here, don’t let the infernal take over you and disguise you with the absence of the sun.

Friday, December 10, 2010

If you have pre notions.....the outcome is certain

Let’s start vague, if you have made up your mind that a person is knave, even if that person is not. It does not matter; to you, that person is knave right!!! But your comment, actually that person is knave, how do you know it? Think about it well before you answer. Alright let’s move forward to something concrete. It is not going to work out? You have made up your mind that it is not going to work out, irrespective of one billionth of the possibility! “you have made up your mind”. The outcome is set; it is not going to happen! I remember a few lines I always keep referring to from ‘the alchemist’ “If you wish something from the bottom of your heart, the whole world shall conspire to make it happen” it will! Or it will? If you wish it from the bottom of your heart. Let’s still move a step ahead, what tells you it won’t; isn’t it your brains? Most of the things that are so important are not things and when they are so vital in your life they are from your heart, eureka!

With reference to my previous blogs, I had received a mail long and interesting enough to take an hour actually to understand and revert, finally with the threads of mail I asked one simple question? What do you want? The answer was surprising to me, we want to stay together BUT because of the milieu and stage we are at in our careers; we can’t, so we would have to forget each other!!! I said you have already decided ‘that is it!!!!’ the outcome is already set, that you are going to post your names in the list of people who have achieved martyrdom! ‘But’ is unnoticed increased exposure towards the dusk to never see the dawn again, mind it. I do not say go against and fight for anything you feel like. Just for heaven sake think about it, the same details you recalling now and going through again and again were the same details then as well!?.......if you did not think before, don’t think too much before giving your best and the last shot now as well.

Another amazing apt case I would like to share with you, a boy and girl had no problems, could have happily married without a hassle, but the girl would always come up with an question “You would never leave me and go na?” constantly all the time, out of the blue. Without actual grounds and reasonable reasons eerie are built up and those people broke up, mind it after 4 long years. Whenever there is something special, either you trust or you don’t, it is nothing like 99% whenever things are not cent percent, trust me it is like buying yourself a credit card, all this is for free but read between the lines it says conditions apply.

Try writing on a black board, alright let’s become “mod” the white board, when there are already a million things scribbled over it, you write in some more how easy are you making it to read? Actually no it shall mess all the more. Exactly when you have already decided; ‘exactly’ what to do about an unknown circumstances, unknown facts, unknown human being; you have already locked the doors! Amazing saying “Experience mars experience” if you don’t clean the board before scribbling, it will be a mess and if you don’t write anymore it is no more learning.

“There is no possibility”, people do come up with such bold statements, let me bring across a few milestones, centuries back, earth was flat! Somebody called it oval and got killed, poor Galileo. The poet’s imaginations that love birds would be able to talk miles apart, he would see her here and she would see him there, impossible centuries ago, mobile phones we call it today! There is only one thing which is not dynamic and that is the change itself.

Frailty is not a crime, but lessons learn it. Caprice are sudden, experience it. Heresy is not uncommon; just don’t push it too hard. Holocaust shall happen; if your stakes are with the wrong person. Infernal is nobody but only the person who showed you the gateway to paradise and never took you across. Marred would be there if things were superficial, hearts would be broken if things were just not things. A miracle happens to those who believe in it. Don’t judge too quickly, because there is always your side my side and right side.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

How close is too close and distances apart

Simple as it may be to read, difficult as to answer; common as known to everybody, subjective as a feeling unknown to anybody else. Let’s try to answer this how close is too close? For a person, for a thing, for a want; what says "this is the limit"?

Let try an example before we start taking sides, blame games, it’s the only option; kind of things. You are travelling in a taxi in the rear seat, the love of your life sitting next to you, leaving no distance, even for the air to breath, would you mind that? Generally people would not. Another example you travelling in a crowded bus, there person next to you is like an inch away still you feel uncomfortable? Yes.  One more example you been taunted, by person A you feel offended, the same thing, same tempo everything same the person B says, you don’t mind at all. Being close is a feeling.

We decide what is close and what is not, nobody else can come up and speak for you, it is a feeling borne by only you; because nobody can feel what you can, it is a part of you. You meet somebody and you can discuss your life, like discussing a book; you know somebody from ages, but a simple question where are you up to? Can make you feel like confronting to that person. Is the distance between people to be counted in miles and light years or millimetres and vacuum? It was impossible a few centuries ago to see something happening away from your eyes, we call it television today. We believe so much at times that, this is what I can see, so ought to be the truth, the truth is what you see and what has happened has a difference though of nanoseconds but does exist. The truth may be stranger than fiction.

Being close is like everything else filled with options, you want to be or you don’t want to be. What affects your decision of being close? At times it is more of people around you that decide how close is too close rather than you deciding for yourself. Adding to that are the notions bombarded by these external factors which help you miserably to believe in your own want and apt distance to be close. You meet people everyday some you like, whereas there are a few, who have done nothing wrong but still, you don’t feel comfortable or stay away. It is always easier to run away; difficult to face it; and more difficult to explain to yourself when discriminating that now you are running away or now you are facing it.

Suddenly then this new idea pops up “I need time” is time the deciding factor or the declining factor. There is no surety and no guarantee of anything to be honest, there is only one thing that is constant and unchangeable that is the change itself. Don’t let people over rule you. Don’t turn away from your own feelings. Distance in humans are not measured in miles, they are measured with the distance between their hearts. I do not mean just jump into anything, anytime. It is just that you decide; what is close! What is too close! Or what is the distance apart! Trust yourself before, you trust others, fall in love with yourself, before falling in love with others, decide for yourself, before others deciding for others. No matter who decides what, it is you who shall face it. Take the responsibility to call it your own life.