Sunday, February 13, 2011

Status quo ante bellum with soul

Latin is the title for which the English definition shall say “the state in which things were before the war with soul.  Allow me to make blunt assumptions, which may be agreed at large; soul exists and small little voice asking you to do the right thing and when in confusion gives you direction; called ‘gut feeling’ be your inner voice (not too much to ask for). Altruism is the thought followed by many and performed by few; understanding the difference between egoism and altruism seems like finding fresh water on the sea shore, but an optimist would not deny the possibility; as coconut does have fresh water found near the sea shore, pessimist you always have reasons!!!

            Where does it lead to finding fresh water? Actually it is not that different as well, the sanity of mind is annihilated with the ardent of expectations. Holy smoke is my expectations too much to expect for? Think again is it really too much to expect for or because it is your expectations it is a justified expectation; the indifference from making the difference could save you from atoning wrong doings. The expectation is hope for something better, something new, something desirable; these expectations are a source of energy for uplifting your spirits when the destination looks to be too far and sense of defeat seems ubiquitous. We forget! It is human nature to forget not to deny each coin has two sides and human being; personifying forgetfulness is only one of the many blessings in disguise, or else I would have remembered everybody on this face of the earth who had hurt me (or presumed tried to hurt me).

            What is justified expectation? There is nothing that is absolute right and absolute wrong, I feel not ashamed of sharing the fact that that I am also a part of finding the absolute truth, to have the absolute judgement until then we are all walking in a direction; expected to lead us to a goal, the reason for our arrival. Well expectations from oneself is justified; expectations from the world would bring in chaos, unrest, uneasiness, reasons to doubt and if fulfilled by the world to even some extent; might give us a high and urge to live on the false addiction of living a conscious life. This is not by choice, many a times we may fail to recognise that there is a choice to be made; but as we are very adaptable to situations, we are also adapted to be accepted by everybody around us. The acceptability is also an expectation and when it is not fulfilled the ego would arise from somewhere 
only to lead us nowhere, by the time it may come to conscious, it is time for the atonement.

            The soul cries out to stop before it is too late the ego would make sure the massacred has happened leaving no scope to turn back making sure the soul is buried as well in the ad infinitum depth of the darkest trenches. In this war the soul would lose cause if somebody would stop from hurting you is only yourself everything else would eliminate you. Let not; the high take over the well being of the soul, let not; the expectations and acceptance from others let you off the shore, let not; the desires take over your happiness. As nothing is worth jeopardizing your peace, your sanity of heart and soul, your trust in your own self; to self esteemed desirous expectations and someone else’s acceptability; as the such expectations may not see the light of tomorrow but surely you would lose the credibility of making it to call for a day.  

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Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I fail to shatter

Is it really me? Is it actually happening to me? Am I worth this after all I have done? It can’t be real! Then it all starts to break into pieces and life, suddenly seems to be labyrinth, meshed structured, scary place stuck in; with the longing for blood to stop flowing through your veins. As it is fact that these things actually happen and if a human being can be destroyed; it is when he is lost from within. It is no hidden secret that it happens, when we allow the power of massacring ourselves in the fragile hands of another person to whom it is otiose; if not anything more, which more or less lands up to be a bad deal, altogether. The yore passed shall never be at your disposal again.

There is nothing about the past that can be changed but you know what? It is not the past that is more important but the time now, from the time of enlightenment that all you wanted is destroyed, you try to put things together and they catastrophic. I am not trying to sound wry and I do not suggest becoming a wayfarer on the hunt of another fragile hand to deal with the broken pieces of your life and turning vindictive to the whole situation is only suggesting the power of other person over you and your own self, difficult situation well honestly life is not fair and can never be.

I could see it, the era of the end was about to begin, visceral, I only avoided it, trust is mutual and it is there or not there, it does not come in size, shapes or measurable quantities similarly once broken will put you in doubt for your life, and the invisible fences created with doubt would arise for that person; leaving you inside the cage; not that person for whom the cage was built not for any anybody else on this earth, those still thinking for revenge let me suggest you, you can restrict the moves of the other person but you cannot restrict the feelings a person may have for someone else a double demolition plan to even think to earn back. The smallest crack has been the reason for bringing down the biggest dams; and nothing would change the fact.

‘leave’ the most unthought idea is actually to leave it then and there, let not the other destroy you not just to satisfy your ego but for to avoid the other taking control and increasing your grieves leaps and bounds; cause if togetherness was even, ever thought about; it would not have landed you with confrontation with butchery of your trust. Welcome to scheol where feelings are not felt and emotions not understood, you think you are part of this part of the terra firma or still left with some life within to be lived. Love shall never stymied your growth and prosperity; if it does, it was not love; if it was not love why to curse yourself for something that did not exist.   

Leave no doubt but leave for the good, let pity be not scattered over you nor loss be misjudged for your ability and appreciate the life still to live. Unscathed be the new you and even the thought of breaking down never sojourn you. Let nostalgia be for the past not even morsels recalls; decide not to shatter and suddenly life would be tryst with the self.

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