Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Smoke, thinking and Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!

Somebody is watching me; somebody is reading this; someone is go na make something out of me after reading this; something might go wrong; someone might not really think good of me; this something is not fair; what if that someone does not like me. Storming (Verb) someone or something is not that really important. Think about it you see your face in the mirror! Is this the face you wana see or this the face you think people should see it? If it is something or someone what about it?

Perception is killing; perception is alive how far are we ahead to unlearn to learn? You know what ‘everything is personal’ everything we see, hear and understand is personal the way you interpret is personal only the way you publicise is not yours; sadly that is what we call personal! Think about it.....

Nay to say how many times this has crossed over my head that you might not like to read it that way? But I changed the script, nay to say was that really me yes but probably only a part of it, rest was you! Conscious is abrading; perception is abrading; thinking is abrading; soul is abrading! Cause it is not just about you, but it is about me. Let’s not start to be judgemental I am not here for; for and against of something, someone but somehow there is more to abrogate. As a child you knew you could reach the stars; you have been on them in your dreams, now we tend to dream also what is practical (a practical joke it sounds). No offences it is you, your dreams, your wish but sadly you can’t even control the dreams! What is the fuss about then?

I exhale but do I have to or do I want to, too much thinking is too much cloud of smoke in the air, you cannot see clearly and you cannot breathe clearly. We try first; having a few hiccups than get used to the smoke and then can’t live without it, deep down there is an ash cloud forming within! What are you go na do about it? Defence mechanism working on you, now to get rid of it we do it some-more, might help, brains ‘yeah it is’; your heart tell ‘no its not’ and you take the easy way out of it keeping doing what is, easier! The other side of the coin; pushing yourself into the corner is also true, brains ‘no its not’ heart ‘yes it is’ you take the easier again. There is nothing easy and nothing difficult just you and me clinging and holding it to the throat, making it easier or.......

I remember this all the time, “I cried about the pain in my leg, till the time I saw someone with none” but do we need to always see someone else pay for our happiness think about it....being alone thinking about something really something that is WTF (Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, LOL!!! you know what it is) thinking smoke in the air; smoke in the brain. Go to the next room stop for a sec and recall all you were thinking in those 5 minutes (trust me you won’t recollect the half of it) this is what our, personal time we are wasting on! Something we can’t even remember; needless to say how much does it matter anymore (this is no rocket science).

But now I am thinking, thinking about OMG (Oscar Mike Gold) how much time I have wasted, never mind this is not the end of the world; we still have something left right, whatever it is, make the best out of it now, there is no returning back; there is no way you can change, the damage has been done; the ship has sailed away now it would be better to collect some woods and lit the fire before it is dark, cause you might cut yourself than the woods if you wait for the dawn to take over you. Difficult to do hard to believe but give importance to those who matter to you; not just anybody and everybody you think should think about you.

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Friday, April 22, 2011

Hangover, Friendships and unspoken dreams!!!

These words may blow some claxon in our minds, hangover is effect caused by excessive drinking the previous night (generally, exceptions always present; they cannot and should not be generalised) but it was fun right! as there are no free lunches it comes with a price of hangover, recollecting what happened last night laughing, smiling over it and when recalled incidences at large; then saying “shit happens ya” could be embarrassing but still good times to remember, it comes with a shelf life that is, it is over after a few weeks, that is it; it is gone with the wind.

Friendships really make or break your moral; acting as the unrecognised support all the time just being there juxtaposition of few people in our lives are really important and that lasts; lasts more than time; more than we thought; more than expected, friends don’t need to be explained why you did what you did! Friends act like contrarians, funny people. They don’t always ‘talk the talk so that you can walk the walk’ with you (I got this from my lecturer) you call them after ages and the conversations would start from the same point; somethings don’t change nay to say can’t be taken for granted.

Unspoken dreams we all have secrets; the ones we shared and the majority that we do not! Dreams are dreams you see it because you want to see it or it just pops up, I don’t have reasons why dreams come into the head and keep coming as if the whole worlds video library is stored in, people have been spending time, effort and money since ages to understand, including some sleepless nights; still the mystery remains untouched. Theories do exist. As denigrated is the thought to the brainy conscious mind those dreams remain within us; unsaid, unspoken, undisturbed, untouched, unstrapped and unsure. They are just there leaving immortal mark, which does not go away with time!

I had read this mail I am sure you might have read it as well, there will be a time on your deathbed where the whole life would come in front of the eyes in the fractions of seconds; ‘make it worth watching’ a question; have we thought about it? Or just kept on thinking and doing what are we expected to do, or just not to be tagged as demented, the dreams are buried somewhere knowingly unknown where they are buried. ‘.....happens....’ no words; no explanations; no demands.

Deplore I may sound but saying that life is all complicated these days is just a myth, we have made it up. Everything and anything is or should be done the ideal way with the majority. How many times it has happened that you knew that this would be a better way but you spoke what is logical or expected and then surprise; surprise what you were thinking was right but what you said is just the expected and you lost your chance to make a difference, forget about the difference to show off, but then muddiness of thoughts happens, to agree with what you think or just to move with the crowd, then OMG more confusion and then Newton’s third law of motion plays its part, ‘every action has equal and opposite reaction’ the more you suppress your thoughts / dreams the more they jump back after some time probably but they do ; then, then what? YOU; standing in the same queue with others, where at the end of the day it is a queue; just a queue where everybody is for the race. Simple things / issues are pain. Welcome to the self built complicated world. “I’m loving it am I?”

So what do we do chase the dreams? Honestly who am I to say anything? There are circumstances, there are actions which you shall take and then there will be reactions that would come for you to face. Nobody decides somebody else’s faith; it is you and only you who can decide your goal, your road and your way. What is this got to do with hangovers, friendships? Hangovers are the movements in the life which knock you on the face, it hurts but it would fade out, might be difficult but will fade out, keep your worries, grudges and all the unwanted negativity to bar drink it down next day you will make fun of it and laugh it aloud and remember ‘shit happens’ friendships is relating to time it does not come back again, it cannot be taken for granted, to make up for things gone wrong today; might now give you an opportunity tomorrow. Act the movement you know you should. Dreams don’t forget to dreams no matter bitter the things are around that is one place where you could fly!!!

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Sunday, April 10, 2011

Reflections, Nature, Beauty and the flight!

I just can't stop clicking
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A man’s land in no man’s land

We always look for something similar, something known, something usual it is in our nature to do so as the existence since yore; even before it came into existence for humans to abide by. Lost in thoughts; lost with destination and the road seems vault to say the least! The crowd seems to grow over and around but even moving a step ahead is losing the only place you have or you think you have in the crowd, the question of losing in the crowd does not upheaval anymore; cause that has already happened!

The sane vanity of mind is punitive the existence itself is at a questionable stake; then one sloshed night alone in darkness lit all the things you never thought about incidences, people, crazy facts like a infant smiles 400 times than an average human being what? Exactly remembering that why this? Why now? and then WTF? You burst out laughing. People whose whereabouts unknown suddenly brighten up in your head as the last you had seen them. Incidences that are like OMG yeah that did happen!

Everything coming back; seems that was like in a vault; rather the existence was unknown until it came up as 70mm motion picture. Then oh! Ok the vivid memory getting affected by the unnecessary disturbance of the consciousness taking over; the dicey dumbstruck me in the utmost confusion to which way to re collect the ones with crazy facts or the one that has something more concrete to think about? Happens; happens and then you know shit happens you chose the things at stake to think about than random stuff running through your head!

Tete e tetes starts within, again the timing is just so perfect that you have to just; just wait for it to happen to come out or to conclude or to end but the good control earned by consciousness over the years can really act smart and swift; making you forget that something existed; I am sure you have faced this funny situation in life when you know that something was there but you can’t re collect it, like the dreams; 90% of the dreams are lost after 15 minutes of getting up yeah! Yeah! Yeah! One more crazy fact; the brain is loaded with all the relevant information about the most irrelevant things, crazy brain. Stodgy it is to let it go and to keep it in the throat.

Quaint what else to say reason cause you know that something was there even if cannot be recalled it was there need not explain it cause you know. Welcome to the man’s land in no man’s land! The macrocosm of something known but to prove the existence to the conscious unknown; the whole idea is to understand the state of comatose of attachment to relevant things, important things, priority, issues, probably everything that a sane person should think about, the attachment to think beyond that itself feels scary! As if something would happen if we did not think about it for a second.

The gist to find a way to attach to get detached from the never ending brainy calculations of the head; to losen up in life, a small little story I had read a couple moved into a rented house, over the dining hall the window overlooked at the neighbours balcony. The neighbour dried the laundry in the balcony the wife would complain that our neighbour does not know how to have a clean laundry, these conversations over the breakfast to which the husband heard but nothing to reply to kept quiet; next week again the same conversation struck about the laundry with spots on the clothes, wife furious for some reason stating that I should go and probably tell her how to have a clean laundry, the husband kept mum; next week to wife’s surprise the clothes dried were clean, she mentioned over the breakfast again that it seems our neighbour has a clue to have a clean laundry to which the husband replied I cleaned the windows while you were sleeping.

It is easy to find faults with everything and anything the question is; are our windows cleaned?

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Saturday, April 9, 2011

The summer the sun

Picture says more than thousand words

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