“Lately I’ve been hard to reach
I’ve been too long on my own
Everybody has a private world
Where they can be alone
Are you calling for me
Are you trying to get through
Are you reaching out for me
I’m reaching out for you”
The song is beautiful by Eminem something just apt, apt for me to tell you, that yes lately I have been hard to reach, the amalgamation has happened with my thoughts, the defeat is coming to me first than my victory and the difference to understand the change of what am I really looking for is victory; seemed difficult than the rocket science, everything just seemed to be blur nothing makes sense and unreachable is everything, grotesque seems my life.
The bright side is right behind me and all I could be worried was nothing much more than the shadow of my own self, running away until it is darkness and the shadow leaves the sight. Hankering I had to do before I lose whatever I am left with whatever I can still recall.
Hoarse seemed the voice of my soul calling me, the more painful it sounded the more I ran from it. Unjustified, surreal to myself that I am any different from it; things are happening as the conspiracy to mock me down. Sure of only one thing that everything is going wrong, as it is said “if you wish something from the bottom of your heart the world conspires to make it happen” yes it happens and it does not understand good or bad but what it understands is the wish. What if you start wishing for the not the sunlight but the darkness of the shadow right behind it!
You get it and that all you see and believe, it is the truth of the movement, the truth of the life the irony is the absolute truth is there but it is I and you who is unable to perceive cause we are blocked from what we want and only find the conundrum ubiquitous. Once the wish is granted greedy for more that we are, we ask for more and things start moving as we want it; failing to understand that whatever is happening is all cause we want it to be. Unadorned seems the world to us, ambiguous is the answers to the simplest questions.
The light is there shining so bright that our inability to open our eyes to see it, makes us believe that it is inexistent. Bitter is the truth and sweet seems to blame errata written from heavens. The darkest night is time before that dawn.
Are we looking for it? Are we only aware of the fact that this time, this phase of darkness would subside do we only know it? Or have we inflicted the darkness as the ethos within us that even when exhumed could not detach it from us? Difficult to believe but so are the facts, life is never fair, live it cause no matter how much you want to go to heaven, you don’t want to die!
Wait the time would pass not that you can help it but because time passes away. No matter how much people have threatened you for feign uncommitted, you become the defendant but you have lost the case if you have lost it in yourself. The crusaders takes life so does the killer the difference is that one becomes martyr the other torment. Everything is not possible and with best intentions can still make you fall in the bad books. Wait this time would go......
The light is bright a chance for you to open and see the world again, the more you wait the shorter the day. Nothing is permanent nor you nor I; but what you have today is the story of tomorrow good or bad it will be yours and only yours. Do not take only happiness in your stride; be ready for some thorns, the more you see the more you know that this phase would pass.
The darkness would follow again to try you again, to make you feel low only this time we would also see the line of light in the air reminding us this would pass and there would be a new light, new day and the stories to be said tomorrow. Don’t give up life is too short to make it right and it will never give a chance to have a retake, live now, live right and the night would pass with a bright sunlight.
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like the way you have connected darkness to life, soul and again life..
ReplyDeletebtw great idea. :)
Thank you shalini!!
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