Though there is something, you were better......

Missing!!! What people, things, life, yourself? What next? Give them a call, cyber stock them, try to buy yourself some peace; shopping does any help? Temporary yes it does then what next do step 2 again....and it continues. What is that you wanted to be? Was it this exactly what you are into? Is this the best you know? Or still those lonely pair of eyes who are only accompanied by themselves are still searching for more? A high rise building under construction, look at it!!! What’s great? Thought about how cool it would be standing up there? Feeling the breeze and fresh air away from the noises, seems a good idea. Go ahead and do it, standing on the edge, try to feel any of the above mentioned, can you? You would be worried about if you fall? How deep is it? I shouldn’t have tried it. Moral a few things are good and at its best when at a distance.

Irresistible caprice to get things done the other way, to change the view of the world, get somebody back. Could be something like standing on edge of the high rise construction building’s edge; couldn’t be? Lets try the other way, I miss your smile but more than that I miss my own more. Life is not fair, it never said it would be, but few things are always better unknown or be gracious if you have the power to face the truth. What is this all leading to? Lets try another way, whatever you did was not wrong, but it is not what I wanted!!!! So confused how do I get about this? The deal is; did you ever get any of these question? Still makes you uneasy? Now we talking on the same lines.

What do I do? It is irresistible to let go. Its good to be a kid at heart but think about it; always? It is irresistible cause you don’t have anything else. Tomorrow you get yourself a new fad, new toy, just bloody something new. You have forgotten about it until reminded. Was this the same thing you couldn’t let go first? What would have happened if you would have got it back? Would have destructed back again, trust me cause you got it back. Would take it for a ride and then again I am sure I can get it back, just got to try a bit more harder this time. Still a level ahead it would not go anywhere, even if I don’t try. Would be right there, waiting for me; its gone!!! Catastrophe

Colossal as it may seem, conundrum as it is; the only thing, wish or person important is understood completely is when you have lost that thing, shattered hidden wish or person. No, not after a fight or something, not after an argument that is not losing, that are the thick and thins that make it worth living it with. Not the intermediate failures before success.  It is when you see the in the eyes of the person, that you have lost! It is when you see yourself in the mirror and think this is not worth it! This is not what I want anymore! Not a word, you just know it when it is over. You have to make a grave decision at times then i.e. you are good but the I guess I have to forget you(desires, things, people).

Though there is something, you were better far off.

Make sure you have done every bit possible, all the efforts. Cause it is easy to give up, easier to forget more easier to move on, but the feeling you have lost it will stay for a life time. Don’t give up, don’t ever until it is not even your last day but your last breath. Keep going, you are go na do good.

Comments @ aniketjhaster@gmail.com

I'm Surprised

Abrade is my joy, when rationality is seen around to its best. Friendship, love, relations are ad hominem. Fusillade, it seems when a few speak. All I am if not anything else, is I’m surprised!!! Funny things happen and pariah you are if done out of concern. Cold is the weather and now so is my soul. Everything has a meaning, a reason to happen I have got mine as well, but I’m surprised!!!

Penchant I had for my feelings, where I wanted the world to look, the way I wanted to see. It is all different now, this is the learning. Remember saying this all the time, there is your side, my side and the right side. I can see the right side working for me. The illusions that the world looks beautiful cause I see has changed to the beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I’m surprised!!!

There is nothing new, nobody can really re invent the wheel, and I cannot. It is not something that never heard before, never passed my mind or something I never knew. It is just that, it is different to hear it when from someone else and different to see when it is you. It has enlightened the way to unknown destination, or the one right there, but hidden under the banner of ignorance is bliss. I’m surprised!!!

Wondering what is this all about? Why is this all about? Is this exactly what I am reading? Actually there can be lot of deviation between what I may be speaking to you. Abysmally amazing that it is only 30% mind it only 30% of the verbal communication that is understood by the other person, the rest is non verbal communication. All we had been trying to do all our lives was to speak well. Between this is not the point, the point is sudden changes have occurred, making me judgemental forgetting the point, that there is nothing right and nothing wrong, what? Exactly just mere circumstances and the decisions in the given situations. There is no happiness and there is no sorrow, just that simple do you want to keep love or grudge in your heart, had forgotten all this. I’m surprised!!!

Whenever we try to be something that we are not, judgements start following us, factual as it may seem true as I believe, when you start trying to judge others, you have lost the knack of judging your own self. Learning new, understanding new, improving according to your own standards and changing because it just the way it is to be done, has a very fine indifference to be understood. It was just what was mentioned above, life seems to be complex, asks us really weird questions, happiness and sorrow start taking over. Everybody seems to be good or bad at different time. Things went according to me good if not as Russell Peters has said a million time “Somebody is go na get hurt real bad” wow!!! How things change within us and we cry the life is unfair. Why? Because we just forget the two colours of life, black and white, try to mix and match, forgetting the fact it can only make it grey. Colours are to be seen and not to be made up. I had forgotten all this I’m surprised!!!

People are different and so is their ideology, so what? Have I given up on my own, little things for a good tomorrow, don’t worry about the future, you can only see it when it is present. Don’t worry about the past; there is nothing you can do to change. Live in the present in such a way, that past seems to be blissful and future looks like the rising sun. Don’t suppress what you feel, not to be said aloud to the world, but to be felt within and not to forget to feel the feeling. Different people care and appreciate different things, be different and appreciate people than only expecting to be appreciated. I had forgotten all this I’m surprised!!!!

Comments @ aniketjhaster@gmail.com